I want to live my life like a bursting spark of fireworks before it dissipates into thin air.
I am one of the many roses in the rose bushes, and soon, you will forget me like all the others before me.
There is a beauty in writing prose that pictures can’t unfold. That it’s the song in our souls that matter more than appearances.
In my dance I want to communicate my artistry in my transient flight on earth.
The poetry in my dance is no lesser than my fight for life.
My love is boundless like the ocean.
The waves sweeps the world under as
We submerge into the depths
in this universal flow of energy.
When pain is transmuted to pleasure,
the sublime thin line between our nerve endings,
flesh to flesh,
in our embrace in our never ending dance
creates new worlds of happy ever afters.
We will wave our goodbyes and soon we may meet again, in this life, our next lives and the lives before.
In this cyclic world of what comes and goes like the wind.
In this video, the butterfly is eaten by a praying mantis, that is turn eaten by a serpent. The serpent dies and flowers bloom from it’s decay. The world is filled with beauty once more.
The butterfly (woman) and praying mantis (man) meets in the serpent’s body (joined as one entity). The flowers bloom (beauty reasonates from their union in the decay of the serpent) fills the world with their love.
Such is a love that contributes love, beauty and knowledge to the world over.
Filmed this to make a total of 4 music interpretation videos a month ago after losing 4 kg and writing my third book at the same time. Sadness with a depth of longing and yearning is one of the hardest emotion for me to express on stage. For years I couldn’t reach that core of vulnerability so I couldn’t film as Cheryl. She disappeared entirely from the series. But now Cheryl is back with Risque and the Scarlet Queen. I am glad that I have successfully managed to keep a solo theater production acting as three characters ongoing for 4 years without giving up. It is my original master artwork in motion. I hope my channel inspires the next generation of artists who pursue theater and arts to pursue their artistry in new alternative mediums such as YouTube.
Hi gaming friends, if you find me please be in touch with me by sending me a message on CONTACT. I would love to connect back with you. I had been meeting and catching up with guild mates who had found me online via my blog or facebook. I would love to know what you are doing in life now. My previous positions are listed below for easy search on Google.
AverRal Renewal Online, Dark Palace, Guild Leader of Overkill (2000 – 2002)
AverRal Ragnarok, Chaos, Guild Leader of IxIAversion (2002 – 2004)
AverRal World of Warcraft, Thaurissan, Guild Officer of Clique (2006 – 2007)
Other games you may have seen me play in lanshops – DOTA, Counterstrike, Left for Dead.
I quit gaming for good after our guild became top in the server and I raged quit WOW with my best friend.
The best part is I got my best friend back in real life.
Applying the same skills in gaming in business management proved to be a valuable asset.
Hope to catch up with old friends to know what you are doing in life. I am reminising those great times we had.
I was slow to pick up language. I could not speak a word of Hokkien dialect although my grandmother raised me up. I could not understand what she said and I had to point or guess.
Mandarin was a challenge and I never mastered the language. I still jumble my words conversationally. During my vacation in Taiwan, I could not read most menus in classical mandarin characters.
French was another hurdle. I spent hours on memorizing grammatical structures and I still occasionally type in a word or two in French as many root words in the English language are French words anyway. I gave it up as the only language I truly need to be masterful at in my lifetime is English.
Being dyslexic, even arranging name tags in alphabetical order in neat rows makes me pespire in cold sweat. I still miss out on a letter or two and have to rearrange the rows.
Organizationally, I had been a messy person but I had been systemically categorizing all there is to do in my life in a few key folders. I clean up my desk and compile my works every week. Every now and then, I stumble upon something I wrote or did and I forgot completely I did it years ago. But recently I have been focused on urgent projects and closed the trivia ones. By focusing on the main projects, I no longer have memory lapses.
While I am writing this on a high speed train from Kaohsiung to Taipei to board my flight, I realised my language delayed development is due to my dylexic condition. However I could potentially overcome it by just being present, focused and “disappearing” my identity. The universialism that spills on page can be the “me” that is channeling the universial consciousness while “I” disappear and dissipate into the cosmos.
I look forward to returning home. I miss dancing to no nights end. I miss writing till my memory collapses and I fall into a deep dreamless sleep. I miss my cat and her soft purs while she lays her head on my feet. I miss laughing loudly with my friends. I miss my grandparents and my dad. I am missing all these although it has only been a week.
I will be back in full creative production for my novel, videos, business and holding the space for world leadership to arise in all areas in my life by simply being who I am – a source of empowerment to all around me.
The lyrics of this song is magical on many levels. It speaks about a love that is beyond time distance and form, flowing through different timelines, different reincarnations, the seasons and the wind and the sun. It speaks of a love that transcends all reasons and it is held in the heart of her palm.
I have admittedly, shamefully, been unable to write about love or analyse love stories of any kind for ten years. I am able to do so now, as I finally forgave and accepted my past. There is a profoundness in acceptance that love is there, beyond physicality and through different reincarnations. For this, I am able to analyse this love song.
“My left-hand holds an empty heart. My right palm holds a heart entrenched in love. My fingers interlock to hold prisoner the essence of the heart. The sacrifice of our love is embedded deeply in my bones.”
These lines mean that her left hand is holding an “empty heart”. Which means the love has not been returned. But she is holding faith by using her right palm to “hold prisoner the essence of the heart.” That the love is embedded deeply in her bones is a symbolisation that she will never forget the love that is there.
“After seven reincarnations, we must wait another hundred years.”
There is a Chinese belief that if we do not resolve or said what there is to say in this lifetime, it will bring forward to the next life due to incompletions. It will flow to our next life, to the next till it reaches a resolution, a clear ending. If we deny the truth, the truth will follow us till the next life, where we will meet the exact same situation again, and we are given an opportunity to choose to complete the ending. If we do not choose to complete, it will flow to the next life and the next.
“You are fate. You are thundering hoofbeats. Being the passion of my love, you chased me through the icy sky and snowy ground.”
These lyrics symbolises admiration of her lover, that he is her fate. He had chased her to the ends of the earth, and she had loved him passionately through these moments. It is believed in ancient Chinese culture that we will only meet this kind of love rarely in our lifetime, and if it reaches to the point of ecstasy, it is due to a reincarnation from the past that overflows to this life.
“Until a thousand arrows pierce my heart, my heart will only give up then.”
It is believed that love dies when the heart dies, that even with 999 arrows, she will not give up her love, till her heart dies in a metaphorical sense.
“If it is all possible I will use my life to save yours.”
In this profound ending of the song – she is in full knowledge that she is willing to die for her lover and give her heart to him to save him. With this full knowledge of the fact she will wait 100 years for the next reincarnation to repeat this love story and hopefully, they will be together in that lifetime.
I am using the tools I learnt on my calendar after attending a seminar called Mission Control. It is probably one of the most powerful courses out there on how to manage time, and use the context of time to fulfil on our fundamental concerns of what matters to us. I had been on a mission to master mission control, which is to utilise time, second by second, to fulfil on my projects and deadlines, which surprisingly, I am way ahead of schedule by powerfully applying the tools learnt.
In the context of time itself, it is about how we intentionally create time, and in creating time, we create more time. It is interesting to note that we think we don’t have enough time, but in fact, most of us don’t utilise our time fully. We don’t know exactly how long a task takes. Or how long we are doing something, or if we are actually accomplishing something by doing that thing, or spending more time to do the thing we can’t do. It could be wiser to delegate and outsource. Or it could be wiser to automate and set recurring events to create time to study/research/practice an activity we would like to work on. Fundamentally, we can create time out of nothing, and in doing so, free us up to explore more interests and spend quality time with loved ones.
I had started to put in my weight loss goals into my calendar. Somehow that method had resulted in me losing 4kg this year. I have recurring events on how much calories to consume, and how much workouts to do. Similarly, with my book production schedule, there is a set goal of accomplishment to finish a certain portion of my book. I wish I had learnt these tools while I was in university, so I wouldn’t have to stay up to 6 am to complete my assignments on time. Nevertheless, these tools are enabling me to master the context of time, and I look forward to attending Advanced Mission Control to explore the next frontier of what I want to accomplish in 1000 years.
The distinction I got is that there is a difference between being a writer, and a creator of worlds. I am a creator of worlds, not a writer. A creator of worlds creates new realities, new possibilities and new ways of being. I am a creator on unorthodox mediums. My YouTube Channel has 2 million views on a solo production with over a hundred videos. My book downloads will trespass the 100 000 mark to hit a million by 2021. My blog has over 700 posts.
The only way I can reach the next stage of my new way of being of being a world renowned author is to shatter my old identity. Shattering my old identity by destroying it completely and reinventing a totally new way of who I am today. Who I am is my word. I am shattering my old identity as of today. I am shredding the parts of inauthenticities and comfortableness of being ordinary. I am taking on being uncomfortable, challenged and creative. I am taking on being unreasonable with myself on a daily basis. I am taking on working out and keeping to a diet to maintain peak performance levels. I will no longer be deterred by my fears,
I am taking on being uncomfortable, challenged and creative. I am taking on being unreasonable with myself on a daily basis. I am taking on working out and keeping to a diet to maintain peak performance levels. I will no longer be deterred by my fears, demons and past. My past will no longer have a hold on me. From this moment on, there is only a forward pull towards greatness. There is an inherent power within me as I write this.
I had denied my own inner power to live a comfortable life. But from this moment on, no more. By shattering my old identity, it means being uncomfortable. It means doing things I will normally not do. Taking actions beyond my old comfort zones. Being unreasonable with life, and taking a stand from where I am standing from to move from ordinariness towards greatness.
When my identity is no more, a universal self-emerges. I will not be in the way of my universal self. I will let it be who I am as the natural way I am being. I will be holding myself out as my universal self that connects to all regards of culture, countries or languages. What I create will resonate as one shared humanity, and the impact of my creations will be radiated into generations to come.
I will unleash my inner power and take on powerfully a life I love and to live an extraordinary life.
She is releasing a novel (Hourglass Series) yearly and weekly YouTube videos. She does experimental flash fiction on this blog, along with song, movies and character analysis using historical and literature references.
One Million Views on Scarlet Queen YouTube (2015)