Cheryl – Ocean of Memories

Filmed this to make a total of 4 music interpretation videos a month ago after losing 4 kg and writing my third book at the same time. Sadness with a depth of longing and yearning is one of the hardest emotion for me to express on stage. For years I couldn’t reach that core of vulnerability so I couldn’t film as Cheryl. She disappeared entirely from the series. But now Cheryl is back with Risque and the Scarlet Queen. I am glad that I have successfully managed to keep a solo theater production acting as three characters ongoing for 4 years without giving up. It is my original master artwork in motion. I hope my channel inspires the next generation of artists who pursue theater and arts to pursue their artistry in new alternative mediums such as YouTube.

Vincent – The White Knight

I flew over continents to see you, forsake my family and friends just to be beside you, ended my career to wait for you at home each day. Vincent, what have you done? Have you seduced and stolen my heart completely, that no logic exist in my crazy mad love for you?

The City of Toronto

I don’t know myself anymore, what is fiction and what is real but when I see you as a mirror of me, I can slowly reclaim my identity in finding you in me. For only you… are real. On the dance floor, conquering worlds in boardrooms, driving past wineries.. only we are real.

You had engulfed my mind body and soul into loving you in my dreams and everything that I do, I think of you. What have you done to seduce me completely? In my artistry to become art itself, you had ruined me into a hopeless romantic

I never stopped loving you

Cheryl: I never stopped loving you for a day, in my life in my dreams, everywhere I see you… like a phantom. I can’t escape the clutches of your control, the spell that you had casted over my fairytale dreams. As I discard the memories of us and our deep chemistry, and forget the dances we had shared, I will see you in our next life.

For I had found my White Knight.

The Scarlet Queen (Poem)

Dancing till a certain death.
A dance of exhaustion
Till I physically give in the devil
And my mind to ceases to no longer think

For each song and rhythm
I do it all for you
For all the pain and sorrow
I feel it all for you

This painful unrequited love
Is dying and numbing
I dance my days away
waiting for you

In my dreams I see you
When I wake up
You are no longer there

Sometimes living is easier with eyes closed. Because my dreams are happier than reality. In my dreams we are together, and it is beautiful. When I wake up… you are no longer there.

But far away, where I can’t reach you
I tried to find you behind the looking glass where I can be with you once more
But I am in eternal hell
A hellish place where the scarlet queen lives

She conquers kings of kings
and denches fortresses with the blood of the fallen
She might decide to take you
if you don’t save me soon.

Cheryl’s Transformation – Episode 21

Foreword from The Scarlet Queen:
Hi Hardwarezone members, I am the siao char bao here. To understand this video, please open up your minds and see it as a work of art. Leave your judgements behind, and imagine you are walking into the esplanade to watch a musical. This is what The Scarlet Queen is about, a musical using the medium of video blogging, written and produced by The Scarlet Queen herself as a solo recital.

The Scarlet Queen Series
Every midnight, for the next hundred days, a video is uploaded daily at 6pm… either as Cheryl (white swan) or Risque (black swan). Today’s episode is Day 21. There is 79 Days more to go before the finale.


Cheryl’s Transformation into The Black Swan

In the events of Cheryl’s (white swan) phantom dreams, and finding the black mask on her bed, she finally took the courage to wear it for once… to become stronger. In her internal battle with Risque (the black swan), she tries to find the courage to beat her inner demons. Only her eyes tell the truth of who won the final battle. This episode… is all about her eyes.

I would suggest to rewatch the previous episodes of Cheryl to understand the storyline behind this video. It is the lead up to the climax of the series. You know, its quite similar to Black Swan (movie) when The White Swan meets The Black Swan in a lesbian scene. However, this is just one person wearing two masks, hence the insanity.

The sequence was filmed over a few days, and out of 20 clips, I chose 4 clips to bring out the inner conflicts of the two characters.

Episodes that leading up to the conflict

Cheryl – Smiles of Pain – Episode 19

Risque explaining her purpose – Episode 20

Full video list:
The Scarlet Queen channel on YouTube

Cheryl – Rape Scars – TSQ 15

According to statistics, one fifth of women had been victims of rape or attempted rape. I found the figures discomforting. When i was in university, I read an article on women… in a school’s magazine.. that impacted the way I think about women and their bodies.

Because I am a Woman – Written by Jessica Hill in Monash University Women’s Issues, Voices, Words – Dissent 2009

This is a photo I took of the page, and the words that impacted me were:

“Because I am a woman, my body is something to CONSUME and OWN and RIP OPEN and PENETRATE and MUTILATE and OCCUPY and VIOLATE and RAPE.” Jessica Hill

Cheryl shows the scar on her arm

I felt… it is true.. the way the media had portrayed women to be, an object of pleasure and desire. Women are nothing but objects of pleasure. It is… sad and discomforting. Hence I did this video as a tribute to the suffering of women.

Cheryl’s World Without Money – TSQ 11

Cheryl talks about a world without money.

Cheryl apparently loves kids, hence she would love to create a beautiful future for her family, by beautifying the world with her art. She thinks that there should not be money in this world, as there is enough food and houses, and that every person should have access to education and healthcare. She hopes for wars to stop. Her views are leaning towards the liberal Democrats.

Creating a beautiful future

Cheryl’s Phantom Nightmares – Day 8

Cheryl has been getting strange nightmares recently.. and she found the black mask on her bed. She is unsure how it got there….

Cheryl’s Fan Mail

Cheryl: Thank you for your kind compliments. Erm…. I doing the videos alone at the moment. I am doing my art full time, I am a full time artist. I paint, draw and write poetry. I am not working with any production company. I am not sure if I am good enough.. yup.