Change Starts Now

Ten emails later, I finScreen Shot 2016-04-29 at 3.28.29 pmally got a reply on where I could volunteer to read books to children. I hope to develop my story telling skills and aid them in cultivating a love of the English language. I realised that time is short in supply, out of all things in the world. Time keeps moving, it does not stop for anyone.

According to Landmark Insights, “It’s language—what we say (with and about others, ourselves, and the world at large) that constitutes who we are.”

If I could inspire others to master language, they would eventually gain mastery over their lives and identity. I believe the key to change in this world starts with the usage of language. When we remove the word “suffering” out of our vocabulary, suffering will no longer exist for anyone.

Attending Lee Child’s lecture at ITW Online Thriller School gave me a revelation into the art of storytelling. The act of writing is actually speaking. We are speaking as we write, and we write as we speak. The most natural, human way of listening to a story is auditory. Anyone who can speak, can write. The change starts with the usage of language, the rewriting of policies, the recreation of society by each small action we take.

My small action now starts with reading stories to children to inspire them to become the next generation of storytellers to “remove” suffering in this world.

What is Power?

What is a woman’s power? It’s her sexuality. Her desirability. The more desired a woman, the more powerful she is. She controls by strategic alliances with others. The most powerful women of our time are politicians and celebrities. However, the names of politicians will be forgotten with time, but celebrities? They will be eternally remembered by the masses. Fundamentally, it’s about creating desirability and alliances.

Men? They think their power is in money, but that is the big illusion. It isn’t money. It’s about providing security. A man’s power is in his ability to provide security. Forbes ranks powerful men as politicians or billionaires. Fundamentally, it is measured by the security they give to their country or organization.

Power is not manipulation, monetary or enslavement induced. Power is given, not taken. Power is when people make the choice to elect their politicians and business leaders. Power is given to celebrities who inspire their audience.

As writers, our power is to write the truth and remove the veil of the false.

Game of Thrones Analysis – Eunuch Warriors

In the past week I had been fascinated by the world of Game of Thrones. I did some cross referencing with historical events that happened, and the fictional events that mirrored those.

The Unsullied are basically inspired by the soldiers of Sparta, but in a more extreme way – they are eunuch warriors. In ancient China, eunuchs traditionally served the imperial court but they do not fight as warriors. Similarly to the unsullied, boys were sold to the imperial court and castrated at age six.

Instead of burning their organs, they are kept in a box and they can buy it back when they had made it in the court as a prominent influential eunuch, so that they can be buried together with their box upon their death. It’s a superstition that one has to be buried as a whole to be reborn as a whole.

The author did use references from Sparta and Ancient China to merge the details and invent a new race of warrior eunuchs who served a master till their death, with the inability to feel pain (Sparta warriors), and being immune to worldly desires (eunuchs).

I personally like Varys. He is a slave turned eunuch turned advisor to the King. He is the key to the events that unfold in the world of Game of Thrones. I have been following him very closely, and it seems that his plans are well executed and he is on his A game while the rest are stumbling around him.

His desire is to serve the realm, which is the best for everyone including himself. He hates magic as it lead to his castration. I believe as long Varys is in the storyline, and not killed, he will be able to influence the events in the world of Game of Thrones and eventually make Daenerys Targaryen sit on the Iron Thorne.


The meaningless state

OncQuestion Marke in a while I would be struck with this state, which I term the meaningless state. It is the state of feeling everything is meaningless, and it’s a state of procrastination intermixed with despondence and a fear to move forward. It is a comfortable state, which is probably the state most people are in most of the time till a risky action is taken.

In this meaningless state, I re-evaluate what I have been doing, and re-correct my actions for the next move. Maybe a more accurate term for this state would be called reflection, but I think it is not about reflection, but starting from a blank clearing.

Of course, my toughest battle is my desire to write more words but it seems the obstacle I am facing is myself, that I am not writing fast enough. There is a story waiting to unfold from within me, but I am not letting it go. In this state, I feel that it is meaningless to go on, and the question is back to – why am I doing so much?

I am looking at dropping some commitments as I think I am over committed at the moment.

First World Problems

Screen Shot 2016-04-14 at 1.51.18 pmI had been visualizing transforming my home into a refuge for orphans. Watching hours of documentaries and reading newspaper articles on them had moved me. It makes all my complaints and worries seem like first world problems. Like, where to go on a Friday Night seems so insignificant compared to: are these orphans going to be adopted soon?

I used to think when I am older I would become a woman who keeps cats and sends them for grooming competitions. It sounds quite ridiculous when I type this now, did I even think of that before? Now, my view has shifted towards fostering orphans and providing them the love of a family.

I used to think that money was the solution to solving world’s problems. Now, I realised, it isn’t. The issue is policies that are implemented are causing the suffering of those who do not have a voice. China’s one child policy lead to the abandonment of millions of female babies. Policies implemented by the government can fundamentally shift the mindset of the population. Gay marriage rights is fundamentally shifting the perception of the LGBT community to gain widespread acceptance in their families for their choice of partners.

I believe the suffering will end once we take responsibility for the change we want to see in this world by starting with small daily actions, that in turn, influences the community and eventually the policies of the world.



Blue Orca Research

Blue Orca is written from Mimi point of view. As part of my research for the novel, I had spent hundreds of hours watching documentaries and reading up about China. Similarly to what I had done for Red Hourglass, which was written over the span of four years and two trips to New York, I try to make fiction as close to reality as possible.

I had been to Beijing twice, and Shanghai once. My favourite lake in the world is in Hangzhou West Lake. I would happily retire by West Lake writing chinese poetry. I dread Hong Kong as I feel very uncomfortable in small spaces.

I used to only be able to write dialogue between two people and that itself is a challenge. Now, I had upped my game to have dialogue conversations between three people or more. I would attribute dialogue writing as my greatest flaw. Instead of four years, I had given myself one year to publish Blue Orca. Insane, I know. But possible.

I stumbled upon this documentary today. Emma’s voice is ringing in my head. It is about Chinese female orphans adopted overseas. In my dream life, I would foster and adopt children in future. It’s writing about this topic that moves me greatly to want to eventually turn my attention to orphanages – by giving women a voice and chance in life that they would not have otherwise experience. I hope my books will eventually draw more attention to these social issues and end the suffering of children.

Back to Basics – The Next Generation of Storytellers

I expect to move to our new place in May. I am excited at the possibility of living in a brand new locale that I had hardly ever been in. It is surrounded by forested areas and cycling tracks that lead to a water front promenade. It is far out and inaccessible, and even a trip downtown is going to be a hassle. This may be the solution to me writing more books as it is hard to get to the city!

I had reached out to the local library to volunteer to read books for children. I miss tutoring children and teenagers, which I formerly used to do so when I was supporting my living expenses while in college. It is no doubt that I taught English, elementary maths and science. I cycled to my student’s homes and lived a fairly simple existence of attending classes, tutoring in late evenings and cycling back to do my assignments and work on my online business till 5am in the morning. I finally hit the market at age 20 and became a full time entrepreneur.  I graduated at 21 years old with a fully functional business and a business degree. Amazing twist of events.

During these tutoring sessions I would dream of what life would be like if I could have an online business and travel around the world and eventually meet my Prince. All these became a reality and now, my dream home is almost completed.

Back to the basics. Now, I miss teaching and hanging out with children and I wish to volunteer my time to inspire the next generation of creators of worlds, stories and new realities they can unfold using their imagination with no limits.

I believe that I may have broke the mold of what an asian woman could be by my YouTube channel in my creation of an alternate world of minions, knights, queens and dungeons. In my fully expressed state, I used dance, theater and story lines to enchant my viewers into viewership submission.

My acting coach said that it is extremely difficult to create an outstanding character on set, and if I had managed to do it with Risque, it’s something most actors never got to do in their entire lifetimes. I believe that I had redefined what is possible with my existence and I will continue to do so by educating the next generation to reach their fully actualized potential.

First… they need to accept me as a volunteer….


Landmark Forum Advanced Course Review

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I attended the Landmark Advanced Course over this weekend and I must say, it has exceeded all the expectations I had written down before my enrollment. I wanted the ability to influence the people around me. For the longest period of time, I did not know how. I watched people suffer, I watched my friends cry, I watched my family needing help and I did not know what to say, and when I wanted to say something, I hold back and run away and hide in a little corner to read books or surf Facebook.

I let the world go by without knowing what I can do. I blamed it on my age, that I was too young, I can’t tell older people what to do, they won’t listen to me. I blamed it on my circumstances, that I am female, asian and expected to do all these traditional chinese roles of what a daughter is expected and respect the elders. I blamed it on many things, on my country, my school, my who and who and who. But I didn’t realised, it wasn’t about blaming. It was about taking responsibility for what I want to be. Full 100% responsibility for what I want to see in this world.

When I start to tell others what to do so they would finally stop suffering, they would tell me I don’t know any better. That they are in dire circumstances. My friend is in debt for failure of his business. Some of my family members don’t talk to one another because of something that happened. Some of my friends are expecting harsh breakups, or just simply not doing well at work. I felt helpless to do anything but watch. Like a television show, I watched the world go by around me without the ability to be part of it. I ignored the problems and just focused on working, and writing my books, hoping by writing out my pain, the suffering will stop for myself and others.

This was the me before I did the Landmark Forum Advanced Course.

What is real only occurs in language. The power of language is that we have the ability to distinguish what happened, our stories and the meaning we attached to it. We have the power to reinvent the possibility of creating an entire new reality. It all starts with the words we use not only to describe ourselves, but others.

On Monday, I gained access to the power of language by issuing requests to my family and friends to stop suffering and take action. This I know, is unreasonable. I should just watch them suffer like a sadist. But no. Honestly. I am sick of watching people suffer. It makes me sick, it makes me hide and it impacts me negatively so much I don’t even watch the news. I refuse to know what is happening so I don’t have to deal with it. But by doing that, I am making myself smaller and smaller, like a helpless being. Like a slave to the universe. I am no slave. I am a master. A master of reality.

A writer is the master of reality itself.

I started to write my life by changing the language I use on others to redesign my reality.

As of today, four days after the seminar, my results are:

  1. I got my parents to explore the possibility of an extraordinary relationship for their retirement years
  2. I reestablished my friendship with my worst enemy and best friend after 1 1/2 years of fighting, through a ten minute conversation
  3. I got my friend who is experiencing a break up to tear his name card so I can give him a hug, and he can reach out to others
  4. I got another friend to pour all his thoughts into a glass and pour it all out into the abyss, so he can finally be freed from his suffering. He messaged me and told me he passed his driving test after failing seven times.
  5. I got half the group in the seminar of 83 people to stand up to commit to creating change and possibilities for others in their lives to end suffering
  6. I empowered my group to do the same of what I am doing, in their lives by directly being accountable for my words with full integrity
  7. I rediscovered my assistant in a totally new way that I admire and respect her greatly as a person of high integrity
  8. I started to issue requests without attaching the meaning to failure, and let go of the fear of failure itself. Rejection means nothing to me now
  9. I gained a new access to the power of language. New realities are invented as I speak.
  10. There are so much undiscovered possibilities that my actions make in the sea of possibilities, I can be free of any attachment or disappointment as long I keep doing what I want to do and see for this world, which is to end suffering.

and much more undiscovered possibilities now present to me.

The Landmark Forum is truly profound. I had signed up for the Leadership Course and committed another six months to mastering my identity, language and reality.

Do not believe anything written about the Landmark Forum, including what I just wrote. This is my journey and each person journey is unique. You have to experience this for yourself.

This course exceeds the experience of Space Travel.

I would put the Advanced Course as the number one adventure I had experienced in my lifetime (ahead of my backpacking trip in Greece).

My possibilities are your possibilities, enroll yourself in the Landmark Forum and go past the next frontier of performance for yourself and others.

You may be the next cause of change in this world.

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This post is not affiliated nor sponsored by Landmark Forum.

Dream Victorian Home

Screen Shot 2016-03-30 at 3.48.07 pmI am excited and afraid, and going a little overboard with price comparison shopping. I had spent a few weekends shopping non stop for ten hours a day, through warehouses, ikea, catalogues, online and offline and four hours online at night. The verdict is that home & decor items ordered online is more affordable in value. With the exception of Ikea and Daiso. Just that, the furniture shipment has to come exactly in time with the moving date. This time, everything will be brand new except my beloved red sofa which is the only piece of furniture that I currently own.

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The furniture that I had ordered online are white victorian made from oakwood. They come without assembly, direct from supplier in China. Strangely, very strangely, everything is made in China, including high end European furniture. I was very surprised at the photos and finishing. I will only know if the photos meet the quality I expect once the shipment arrives. It was a great bargain, but translating each piece of furniture to mandarin and having to communicate with the representatives proved to be a rather difficult chore, but we did it successfully and they are now on the way.

I made a resolution to make the best bed in the world in my home. After having slept on the bed of the Grand Hotel Melbourne with my mum when she flew over to attend my graduation ceremony, we both have a similar mission to recreate the same grand bed. It is so famous that the hotel has an order form for the grand bed. But I will attempt to recreate the bed at the fraction of the cost.

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To make the best bed in the world, it requires a few items:

  1. 1000+ thread count sheets
  2. Australian made quilts and mattress topper
  3. Comfortable pillows, I prefer down feather and memory foam posture pillows, so I got both
  4. A great mattress!

I believe a great bed is the ultimate luxury in life as we spend 1/3 of our life sleeping. A great rest = a great day. Too little effort has been placed to this important facet in our homes, except hotels try to research and create that by offering guests options for hard and soft pillows, and as far as to offer bamboo fiber non allergy pillows. Well, I could slowly discover what bed I like over time in my home 😀

I am excited that the new place I am moving to has gym facilities. I am looking forward to holding BBQ parties by the lawn, and being Australian. Yup. I miss whipping up a storm like masterchef. I felt very happy in Melbourne as I could get my friends over and cook, and house parties/bbq/visiting was a regular social activity. At my new place, I am going to do that and cook most of my meals, yup. I have been eating out too much and it isn’t a good thing. I am going to get a blender and make blended veggie soups that I miss so dearly.

I am looking forward to the move so much that I have admittedly been distracted from my writing, which I am trying to get back to but I am stuck at the pivotal point. I had lost weight from shopping ten hours a day over the weekend. My dream victorian home is coming true.

I never believed anyone when they said, “fairytales/dreams don’t exist.” They do exist and it is up to us to create it into our realities and live the fairytale we want it to be.


Peach Blossom Pavilion by Mingmei Yip Book Review

Mingmei Yip Peach Blossom PavillionThis is a very insightful read to the real Geishas, or chinese courtesans who entertained and dined with powerful men of their time. High class courtesans in ancient China were fallen scholar officials daughters whose family fell into dire circumstances and were forced to give up their daughters.

Reading this book is like reading a book written by my mum. Initially, I did not understand what my mum means when I acted like a tomboy during my teenage years and she said it bought disgrace to my “scholar official ancestors”. This book gave me insights into ancient chinese culture and what was expected of scholar official daughters, how they behaved and how they viewed others in the society.

Although the language is chunky, when translated to mandarin it makes perfect sense and resonated with classical chinese shows and books I had read when I was younger. The story reads like a classical book more than a contemporary novel. It is quite lengthy and the heroine takes her own internal quest to find her closure on each issue, before her departure from China. Books written in english accurately about pre-communist China is rare, and I highly recommend this book as it is written by an overseas Chinese. The knowledge of the classical arts is lost on mainland China under the rule of communism.

I like reading Mingmei Yip books as an alternative to Japanese fiction which are dominating the charts in Asian literature, when in fact, ancient chinese culture was the source of japanese culture. Her writings are very insightful into pre-communist China, well researched and accurate. I look forward to reading her books and I am glad she is releasing books annually.