Fifty Shades of Urahara: Soi Fong gets Tied! – Part 3

The long awaited installment of Fifty Shades of Urahara is here!

‘I see.. you are in love with Yoruichi…Well, Yoruichi belongs to me. Technically, you belong to me too.’ Urahara said.

‘No! You bastard, Yoruichi only belongs to me!’ Soi Fong replied.

Yoruichi belongs… Yoruichi belongs…? I belong to no one, thought Yoruichi. A smile crept onto her face as she listened to the exchange between Urahara and Soi Fun on the other side of the closed fusuma.

Through the thin paper doors she could make out the scene being acted in Urahara’s living room beyond. A figure wrestled against tight bonds that held it strapped helplessly to the table. Another silhouetted figure, lean and cat-like, paced around the captive. She could imagine Urahara’s eyes deep and cruel contemplating his helpless victim. She had found herself bound and helpless in front of Urahara once before, under the red blinding ropes of the Crimson Princess.

Now Soi Fun was under those tight red ropes. She can’t help but feel slightly turned on at the fact her little disciple was now being bound by her master. She recalled those cold, cruel eyes of Urahara,. She knew their power… and their promise.

‘Stop struggling! Remember what I told you about the ropes: they will constrict you the more you struggle.’ Urahara’s voice was cold and mocking, a hint of amusement at Soi Fong’s predicament evident. ‘I did agree to share Yoruichi with you, didn’t I?’

‘Share! With you? You manipulative jerk…!’

That was a mistake for Soi Fong to say. Of course, Soi Fong was a unrelenting and a stubborn girl. She always wanted to get her way with things. She was tempted to wait a while, see what the outcome of what Soi Fong’s rash words would be. But Yoruichi had heard enough.

Captive and captor turned toward her at the sound of the fusuma being open.

(Enter Yoruichi)

‘I see, so you two are getting down to business.’

‘It’s not what it looks Lady Yoruichi!’ Soi Fon screamed through the red rope blinding her onto the wooden table in the middle of the room. ‘That pervert Kisuke Urahara did this!’

‘My, my, Soi Fon, then you should never have provoked him. So… I guess you deserved it.’ Like a cat, Yoruichi licked the back of her hands with her pointed tongue and turned her eyes on Soi Fon’s tormentor.

‘Yoruichi.’ In an instant quicker than a flash of light, Urahara produced his fan, flicked it open in front of his mouth and bowed his head towards her. Shaded now under his striped green and white hat, his eyes contemplated her respectfully. For a moment, they held each other and she caught the still glowing embers of the fire of cruelty Soi Fong must have endured only moments before. ‘It’s a surprise that you came, I was wondering where you disappeared to for so long.’

‘I told Soi Fon to give you a letter. I am here to make sure she carried out my command.’

‘The letter..’ In one swift movement Urahara reached into the sleeve of his yukata and pulled out an envelope. ‘It’s here. It says that I have to report to the Soul Society…’

‘It is very dangerous for you to back there. I came back urgently to tell you this. I never expected this turn of events. You have to be prepared. You may never return to the human world.’

‘So you are here for what… to see me off?’

‘To wish you well. And to give you a few special gifts that will help you… but before that… you understand this may be our last time?’ With a brief mocking glance down at Soi Fon, Yoruichi fixed Urahara with her eyes and strode towards him.

She had missed him, and she had done everything to save him from soul society, to the safety of the human world. But she knew, right now, at this stage of the battle above, he is needed, or their worlds may not exist anymore. Urahara was needed, for this final battle.

This may be their last moment together.. before the big battle starts. She raised a finger, traced her claw-like nail it down his cheek and across his lips. ‘… to kiss.” Then she leaned close and rested her lips against his mouth, breathing his musky scent in, sending her memories into their childhood, sparring in the underworld. Hmmm… he was the one, her one and only childhood best friend, sparing mate, and one true love. He relented, parting his, as she knew he would, then she kissed him with the passion of a fallen princess, who had sacrificed her throne to be with this lowly peasant… their love transcending societal strictures…

She breathed in the sound of his warm breath, as his heartbeat vibrated against her chest. The struggling screams of Soi Fon wrestling against her bonds reached her ears. Then her whining voice.

‘Stop kissing him! It’s so gross!’ Soi Fon screamed. “That pervert Urahara is a low caste rat, a peasant. The Princess Yoruichi should not kiss a low-life form such as that!”

‘Silence!’ Yoruichi broke off her kiss with Urahara and snapped her head sideways. She glared down at Soi Fon. “I have had enough of your nasty attitude and your foul mouth. You were nothing before I made you my prote?ge? and raised you to be Captain of the Division, I this how you reward me by behaving like a spoilt child.”

With a final lingering glance into Urahara’s deep eyes, she turned. Would that be their final kiss? The last moment of intimacy they might ever share? If it was, then that precious moment had been cruelly cut short by the behaviour of an insolent child. And the child must learn if she is not to repeat her mistake.

Yoruichi ran her nail over the naked skin of Soi Fon’s thigh that bulged from the spaces between the tight fronds that bound it.

‘The Crimson Princess is all over your skin, how does that feel?’

‘Argh! Ask that pervert to let me go!’
‘It’s so tight now, because you have been struggling, trust me, I have been under those ropes before.’
‘My Lady Yoruichi? Under his dirty red ropes!? I am going to kill that jerk!’

‘Ladies! Such a noise, such protestations!’ Urahara fanned himself uneasily, his face unreadable as he covered his expression with his fan and glowered sinisterly from under his hat. ‘Yoruichi, I suggest you punish your prote?ge?, or I will blind you beside her.”

‘I do mean to punish her.’ Yoruichi folded her arms and faced Soi Fon. ‘Very well, then let the entertainment begin.’

Written by Averral
Edited by J
Inspired by Bleach, Tite Kubo

Fifty Shades of Urahara – Part 2

Urahara captures Soi Fong!

Urahara grinned as he removed his sandals. As he untied the belt on his yukata, he looked at Soi Fong, who was trashing about in the nylon web like a caught angry bee. “Those strings will hurt and grow tighter.” He advised slowly in a low voice. “The more you struggle, the more it will constrict.” As he had forseen, Soi Fong struggled relentlessly against the ropes, expressing her aggressive hostile nature. He waited gleefully as he put his fingers under his chin. “Perfect Timing.” he muttered to himself as the ropes constricted till she bound tightly by the constricting ropes. Her body was now in in a tight cocoon of red webs. “Arghhhhh…!” Soi Fong screamed angrily. “You bastard, how dare you do this to me. Wait till Yoruichi finds out.”

“She knows it first hand. She won’t be surprised.” Urahara took out his hat to reveal his glowing sinister eyes to Soi Fong. “You are the second.”

Soi Fong stopped struggling and looked upwards helplessly at Urahara, “Please… let me go.”

“All these time, I have always wanted to know what you are like as a helpless girl.” Urahara breathed heavily, glancing at bounded Soi Fong. “Especially when you provoke me with your disrespectful attitude.” Urahara lowered the tone of his voice. “I need to put you back in your place.”

“You can have Yoruichi… I know where she is, I can ask her to come back.” Soi Fong pleaded.

“Silence.” Urahara commanded. He took up his sword and pointed it towards Soi Fong, “Obey me, or I will leave you naked in front of the twelfth division, your comrades will have such a great time laughing at naked Captain Soi Fong.”

Soi Fong started to sob in tears. Her resolve was weakening. She had knew that Urahara is a deceptive cunning bastard, but never did she know that he had such perverse thoughts towards her. She wished silently that Yoruichi will appear and save her. There is no way she is going to be humiliated by this pervert. She had to play her cards differently. Obey Urahara? Not in her dear life! After all, the criminal Urahara took her beloved Yoruichi away from her by escaping to the human world. She did all she could to fulfill her loyalty as a protege to Yoruichi by becoming the Captain of the Stealth Corps. The position that Yoruichi had left. At the dire situation that Urahara had her in now, she calculated that she did not have much of a choice. She swallowed her pride.

“I will obey you.” Soi Fong stuttered nervously… “As long you agree to share Yoruichi with me.”

“Deal. Not that I mind a threesome anyway” Urahara hinted, his eyes glowing in delight.

He pointed his sword towards her and chanted, “Hirogaru, Benihime (Spread, Crimson Princess)”. The red nylon ropes unbounded itself and warped into a different formation, a formation that forced Soi Fong hands and legs apart, in a spread eagle position. He titled his sword upwards, and she landed in the formation right on top of the circular table in the middle of the room.

“This is a special skill that my sword has.” Urahara explained. “I never use it in combat. However, I used to use it occasionally on prisoners in the Maggot’s Nest where I used to be a detention warden as 3rd Seat of the Stealth Corps.” Urahara started to laugh uneasily, before reaching for his fan to cover his mouth. “I always wanted to use this skill on defiant little girls like you.”

“Arghh..” Soi Fong tried to struggle once more, feeling intensely embarrassed by the humiliation the pervert was putting her through. “I am lesbian you jerk.” She screamed, “There is no way I am going to submit to jerks like you.”

“Really? Lets see if you are wet.” Urahara walked forward towards Soi Fong and reached for the area between her legs. “Ooo.. I can feel you dripping through your clothes.” He grinned widely. “You haven’t been entered by a man, haven’t you.”

“No!” Soi Fong pleaded exasperatedly, “I belong to Yoruichi!”

“I see.. you are in love with Yoruichi…” Urahara contemplated. “Well, Yoruichi belongs to me. Technically, you belong to me too.”

“No! You bastard, Yoruichi only belongs to me!” Soi Fong struggled wildly.

“Ahh… remember what I told you about the ropes. They will constrict the more you struggle. I would advise you not to move.” Urahara warned quickly. “Well, I agreed to sharing Yoruichi with you, didn’t I?”

“You… you manipulative jerk!” Soi Fong was bounded tightly onto the table by the constricting rope formation, unable to struggle anymore.

“There, there there… I had warned you about Crimson Princess and her ropes..  she is not a nice sword.” Urahara took off his yukata, revealing his muscular lean built body. “It is nice for a change, to have you pleading instead of provoking me.”

Soi Fong teared in anger, “There is no way I am going to plead with you. Let me go!”

“You mistake me Soi Fong.” Urahara turned his back towards her. “I will not let you go if you put up with your disrespectful attitude.” He sighed. “You just to have admit that I am stronger than you are, that is all to is.” He turned back to look at her, “If you can do that, I will let go free from the Crimson Princess.”

Soi Fong kept quiet and thought through what Urahara had said. Obey, and submit? That are the very last things she will do to against her nemesis. She rather die than to put up a fight. Her pride was getting into her, after all, she belonged to the lower nobility, a special nobility class given by Yoruichi’s noble family as a reward for their loyalty. On the other hand, Urahara is from the peasant class, worse yet, a convicted criminal that had to go into hiding in the human world. Why would Yoruichi like such a low class criminal like Urahara? After all the undying loyalty and servitude, shouldn’t she deserve Yoruichi affections?

A cold wind blew into the room. Yoruichi had opened the sliding door. She leaned her body playfully on the half opened door with her arms folded.

“I see, you two are getting down to business.”

Fifty Shades of Bleach – Part 1

(Authors note: I have a weird imagination. This is a scene I always wanted to write as a parody to the relationship between the extreme dislike Soi Fong has for Urahara, and his nonchalant attitude towards her. She regularly provokes him, which is like, omg? Come on, do you know what is sword release is? She just doesn’t know what she is seriously getting herself into.)
. . . .

Fifthy Shades of Bleach – Part 1

“Urahara Kisuke. I have a report for you from Soul Society.” Soi Fong handed the document in a formal manner towards Urahara, with her head bowed low. “It is from Yoruichi.” Her mouth was curled in a S shape, with her eye brows furrowed in angst. She did not move an inch till Urahara took the document from her hands.

“Thank you Soi Fong,” Urahara received the documents hesitantly. “Is there anything I can do for you?” Urahara eyed Soi Fong up and down, noting her hair has grown an inch from the last time they met. His right hand hand was firmly grasped on his concealed sword in his cloak,

“No. I am just performing my duty on behalf of Yoruichi.” Soi Fon replied without a trace of emotion in her voice. “Wasn’t for her, I will kill you right now.”

“Chill…” Urahara waved his empty hand wildly, albeit to cool down the heated atmosphere of the room. “Maybe… you just need to relax a little.” Urahara commented. “You are too uptight, and too rigid.” He paused and walked away from her direction. “There is something about you Soi Fong, that Yoruichi sees in you as her protege. If you are so controlled in real life…. it means… you are definitely wild in the bedroom.” He glanced slightly back at his shoulder, and gave a wink.

Soi Fong stared angrily at Urahara, “You pervert!!! How dare you think of me that way.” She raised her sword with both her hands.

“Too late.” Urahara unsheathed his sword swiftly from under his cloak. “Shibari Benihime (Bondage – Crimson Princess).” Red energy strings appeared from the tip of his sword and binded Soi Fong in a red web of ropes, sending her flat onto the floor.

“Arghhh!” Soi Fong screamed as she struggled against the red nylon ropes that his sword released onto her. She was now trapped in his bondage unable to escape from his binding.

“Unfortunately for you, I have not seen Yoruichi for too long.” Urahara pulled his hat over his eyes to conceal his expression. “You are the next best thing to her, and I will have you for now.” He smiled sinisterly as he pointed his sword towards her.

“You… you… what are you going to do to me!” Soi Fong shrieked from under the entwined ropes, while struggling wildly.

“As I said, I am going to have you.” Urahara replied calmly, removing his green cloak. “Be obedient or Benihime (Crimson Princess) will punish you.”


(PS: Tite Kubo, the creator of Bleach definitely has a perverse mind. If you read the character of Urahara in-between the lines, he is a kinky loving candy shop owner (candy shop??) who calls himself “a mere honest, handsome, perverted businessman”. He is one of the few male characters to have a female sword name (Crimson Princess) that releases Shibari (rope binding) and draws blood. When confronted by Aizen in the final battle scene, he laments that “I am just a small time candy shop owner.” right after Aizen praises him for being the most intelligent person in Soul Society.)