The Decay

The decay has been happening. There is a place within me that aspires to be but is not nourished. There is a decay of my soul as it sings it’s last song on love. There is a decay of unwanted wants. There is a decay of a lost song bird. 

The decay is a broken door that can’t be shut. The decay is what it is and what it isn’t. 

When the clock strikes thirteen, it’s evident there is no more real world. The decay is in the dream world. 

Descendence

There is an anguish within. A descodance of a sound that is twirling in an echo of a black hole. I had hid the pain beneath a pretense that it is all okay. The reality of which is that the decay is taking place and rotting into a mountainous heap of waste. 

Ever so once in a while I find my creations in a demolition mode. In deconstructing, the pieces are flying out of the window and landing onto the cement floor in broken pieces of glass. 

I had been breaking glasses and cutting my fingers by accident. When blood pools on the surface wound of my skin, I know the decay is no longer metaphysical but it is happening. My internal descondence state had taken over my being and is on a rampage to self destruct. 

In the échos I tried to scream his name. But there are no saviours. I am trapped in a tower with spiral stairs that lead to the grey clouds.

Words of Wisdom

“To do well in life and business, take care of your elders.” My grandmother said. “Cultivation is the key to success. Life is an unpredictable candle flame. Once the life force disappears, it disappears forever. Before that happens, ensure you had communicated to all your loved ones.” My grandfather walked out of the room. My grandmother lowered her voice. “Don’t let your ego get in the way. Don’t let looking good get in the way either. In the end, it will hurt you more to pretend you are okay.” My grandfather walked back into the room and watched television. We talked about how she has difficulties typing a message on a smart phone. I thanked her for the hospitality as I showed her how to book a uber car. “Come back and visit us soon.” she said in all smiles.

Inquiry into existence 

“I have you and I don’t need anyone else.” My friend said to me. 

To this line I say, “What if I am not here tomorrow? There have to be others you are depending upon for support. Dependence is not a weakness, gathering support enables you to empower yourself. I know you can do this alone, you are strong to undertake this hardship. But don’t ride on this journey alone. We are all here for you. Share yourself with us.
No man is an island, we are co-dependent on each other in a loop of giving and receiving. If you keep giving, and giving, it’s great, but allow yourself to receive as well. Once you are able to receive, you can give more and contribute to others.”

To this he nodded. 

The Difference of Good and Great : Inquiry into the success of Lee Child

Lee Child at the Thrillerfest

Selfie with me and Lee Child at Thriller Fest 2016

The difference between good and great individuals is a subtle line of grey. What constitutes greatness? It is a subjective inquiry itself. I recognize that in the world of Thriller Writers, Lee Child is a great author. There is a defining characteristic that makes him outstanding from the rest of the authors I had encountered in the convention – his acceptance to feedback.

When the topic on the panel turned to reading reviews about their books, Lee Child said, “I read my one star reviews on my books to see what people got to say.” This characteristic of him being coach-able and ready to accept one star feedback is the probably the biggest differentiation factor between a good or great author. When I asked him privately about his decision to include a Chinese Female Detective in his book, MAKE ME. He replied, “I write what people want to read. That’s what the market wants.”

On further inquiry on the panel, Lee Child revealed, “I chose the name Jack Reacher as my wife told me that Reacher was a good name for a character in my book as I was asked on many occasions to reach for the top stands of groceries isles, and it stuck.”

I believe Lee Child’s ready acceptance to feedback is his greatest reason for his consistent success. For an author to consistently hit the best seller lists with no up or downs annually, Lee Child has shown himself to be a consistent performer at his productions. His greatness is his ability to produce a consistent product that delivers on it’s promise.

There are many “good” authors who might have one or two bestselling books at the start but upon their next book release, their rankings and reviews went down. Even at the very top level of authors, most authors do not consistently hit the charts with every book like what Lee Child has done.

At the end of this inquiry, I realised that my barrier to my own greatness as a writer has to do with my acceptance of feedback. I should readily accept feedback and read one star reviews to improve on my craft to move from being “good” to being “great”.

Fame

Fame came too early an age 

Melchony was the cure

For many years there was 

No poetry 

The rebirth of being invisible

Yet famous 

On this virtual wall 

Sometimes

What is caged

Is meant to be free 

Decay 

Anxiety burns into the chest in summer
Ultra violet blinding light hits the eyes 

The gloom hits on the subway 

The machinery runs on un-oiled wheels

The dread sets in the morning 

Yet another day in this dysfunctional city

Lifeline 

Lifelines are hanging on electric poles 

Urban guns and innocents 

The state of warfare is the empire of greed 

The descent into fear and anarchy 

Why, why, why? 
The agenda is on the cards

Yet do you know we are one and the same? 

New York, why do you make me cry 

For the love of the world

You had became a monstrous being 

That eats the souls of its inhabitants 

Till they are zombified
Lifelines are hanging on electric poles

Save no one, not including yourself.  

Lifeline 

Lifelines are hanging on electric poles Of course it’s better to avoid them 

Urban guns and innocents 

The state of warfare is the empire of greed 

The descent into fear and anarchy 

Why, why, why? 
The agenda is on the cards

Yet do you know we are one and the same? 

New York, why do you make me cry 

For the love of the world

You had became a monstrous being 

That eats the souls of its inhabitants 

Till they are zombified
Lifelines are hanging on electric poles

Save no one, not including yourself.  

fruitation 

I am on the verge of the cliff facing the abyss.

There are no safety nets Jumping into the matrix of oblivion 

Death is the beginning of rebirth 

I had found and lost my self 

time again and again 
A life of dreams 

Of risks and forgoing what is acceptable 

What is right, what is wrong

Conditioning of the mind and body 

By constant exercise and redefining limitations 
I am not who I am 

Not a single cocktail touches my tongue 
You know what is the hardest part? 

It’s that people don’t understand

What is it like to live in your head 

And reject the hopes of what you believe 
Of course this is not a suicide note, 

It’s my message to the virtual fake world 

“Get out there and do something!”
I am here

Closer to my impossible dream 

Yet the taste of fruition lingers

In my tongue.