I have to admit I spent most of my life overcompensating to be good enough. I would work 16 hours a day, and not socialise to achieve my goals. I wanted to be perfect. I needed and craved for validation, at the expense of my health and well being. I would tear down the skies, to hear, “It’s going to be okay.”
At this stage of my life, I would say I have reached the pinnacle. A list of feats that I made possible in a short duration of time, because of my ruthlessness. I don’t think I am well liked, I think I might be hated.
Four years of business school doesn’t train someone to be compassionate. It trains you to get down to the bottom line. It’s soul breaking training, the graduation rate is less than 50%. It corrupts the mind, it crushes dreams and it forces cold hard facts and removes all traces of emotions. To succeed, one must develop a sense of being in a state of zen.
My identity was fragmented in the process of business school, it broke into pieces, only to be merged together again in my pursuit of the highest form to be an artist and athlete. With this new form, I can truly say I have been to the depths of the deepest caves of my mind and back. I am glad I undertook the training to be an actor, I would never have understood myself this deeply otherwise.
|AVERRAL writes under pen name Scarlet Risqué. She stars in Scarlet Queen YouTube with over a million views. She holds a degree in business. The RED HOURGLASS is ranked Top 50 Espionage Thriller on Amazon. She is currently writing the sequels to the Hourglass Series. Grab a free copy of her novel now RED HOURGLASS on Amazon|