{"id":3362,"date":"2016-02-11T13:12:39","date_gmt":"2016-02-11T13:12:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.averral.com\/blog\/?p=3362"},"modified":"2016-02-11T13:12:39","modified_gmt":"2016-02-11T13:12:39","slug":"conceptual-decorating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.averral.com\/blog\/2016\/02\/conceptual-decorating\/","title":{"rendered":"Conceptual Decorating\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Whilst I am running a high fever, a long wait at the doctor led me to a visit to an electronics store. In my minds eye, I pieced the equipment I would like to purchase and what I have existing. I beautified my apartment by placing the equipment for my dream kitchen in my vision. <\/p>\n

First, I would have a Samsung fridge with different compartments for different types of food storage with an ice twister. Then, a coffee maker where I can put two spoonfuls of coffee power to be filtered with hot water for a thick delicious roasted coffee. I would purchase a steamer for the size of two people with three different compartments for soups, steamed vegetables and yam. A toaster is essential, but more so is a oven grill to bake my daily salmon. <\/p>\n

I imagined these things as I sighed. Not long ago, I lived in a dream apartment with a lover, with swimming pools and sky gyms but we parted ways. Living with him was like playing a daily match of poker, I never knew what he was thinking. <\/p>\n

No matter what I did, he seemed not physically interested in me. There were no cuddles or holding hands, no deep conversations nor loving words. At night I would walk around the apartment grounds, wondering what part of me was an abomination. Day by day, I felt more and more like a monster instead of a woman. My confidence hit rock bottom and I left him. <\/p>\n

Maybe the reason I started the scarlet queen channel was a result of feeling unwomanly and undesired. Now, fan mails flood my inbox daily but yet, why do I feel like I am still a monster ? <\/p>\n

I wonder. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whilst I am running a high fever, a long wait at the doctor led me to a visit to an electronics store. In my minds eye, I pieced the equipment I would like to purchase and what I have existing. I beautified my apartment by placing the equipment for my dream kitchen in my vision.  […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\t\n