{"id":3034,"date":"2015-10-21T09:42:50","date_gmt":"2015-10-21T09:42:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.averral.com\/blog\/?p=3034"},"modified":"2015-10-21T09:42:50","modified_gmt":"2015-10-21T09:42:50","slug":"spinning-top","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.averral.com\/blog\/2015\/10\/spinning-top\/","title":{"rendered":"Spinning Top"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

I am a spinning top, but when I fall there are no safety nets.<\/span>
Just pure darkness, into the deep black hole, pulled inwards by gravity.<\/span><\/span>

I am darkness and light, pain and pleasure. <\/span>
I can\u2019t tell the difference and I don\u2019t want to. <\/span>
In my twisted visions there is no reprieve from the falling, <\/span>
no savoir at the end of the tunnel. <\/span>
No light in the dark caverns. <\/span>
There is nothing left except an empty hole.<\/span>

I used to believe in happy ever afters, in love, in marriage\u2026 in kids. I used to. Now I don\u2019t. I am a tired spent mess. In this messy maze, I cannot get out of\u2026 I can only believe in fairy tales. Why? Because I gave up on real life, and live in fantasy. In my fantasy world, I can be the Queen.. I can be supernova, I can be the light. I can save myself from the dark caverns and be that knight, instead of waiting for one. I have to find that rainbow wings to emerge out of the cocoon shell.<\/span>

Sometimes I ask, if sacrificing my sanity for my art is all worth it, sometimes I say yes, sometimes I say no. But eventually I realised that it is a resonating yes. The meaning of life is the act of creation itself. There is no need for anything else. Even love suffocates you.<\/span>

But creations?<\/span>
They are forever.<\/span>
They live on in the milky galaxy.<\/span>
They never disappear.<\/span>

This is my sadness and joy.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am a spinning top, but when I fall there are no safety nets.Just pure darkness, into the deep black hole, pulled inwards by gravity.I am darkness and light, pain and pleasure. I can\u2019t tell the difference and I don\u2019t want to. In my twisted visions there is no reprieve from the falling, no savoir […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\t\n