Self Infliction

For so long I looked for answers in the looking glass

Wrapped in a veil that was suffocated my neck

But there aren’t no answers to the questions I asked

For all along the self inflicted torment I had inflicted

was no other than on myself

The Paradox of Pain and Pleasure – Thoughts on Culture

I am enchanted by historic places. The visit to the Versailles left me in a deep space that the culture of a nation is dependent on the actions of the monarchy. Paris followed the fashion trends of Marie Antoinette for she was the Queen of France. But they abhorred her for she did not socialise with the ladies of the aristocracy that lead to her head being guillotined. Similarly, the Empress Cixi of China loved Chinese Opera and had a theater built in the palace for her to watch the opera lounging beside a window, and following this tradition, they held opera performances in all the districts in China to consolidate their control over their empire through the power of culture. Marie Antoinette

If I could go back in history, or rewrite history from this point on – I would make BDSM lifestyle a mainstream pursuit. The state of the world today has to do with the construct and introduction of financial markets and globalisation. People spend too much time in pursuing materialistic acquisitions and paying sky high mortgages than do anything meaningful. In this sense, there is a focus on self-inflicting pain and suffering on oneself to achieve material goals instead of the pursuit of pleasure, freedom, and quality of life by investing in relationships. This may not make any sense, but this is something I see very clearly when I travel.

I see the BDSM lifestyle an answer to having liberal attitudes towards sexuality and in this sense, divert the focus away from material acquisitions to investing in quality relationships. Move from the pursuit of pain, to the pursuit of pleasure. Move from loss of control, to total control. Move from misunderstandings, to compromise. I am proposing a wild answer to the state of our existence today, but it has been examined by philosophers such as Rousseau. “‘Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains.’

These are the topics I am examining in writing The Prince.

 

Venus In Furs Polanski (Movie Review)

indexHaving read Venus in Furs when I was 18 years old, I was pleasantly surprised that the flight I was on route to Paris had an independent movie called Venus in Furs by Polanski. It is in French with English subtitles. There were only two actors (the male and female lead who happens to be Polanski’s wife) in a run down theater in the production. The novel Venus in Furs is undoubtedly a BDSM classic, with the term “masochism” originating from the author of novel.

I spent most of my formative years in the theater. My mother performed and taught classical piano. We would be at the theater every weekend.I knew every nook and canny. I would play hide and seek with other children behind the red velvet curtains during rehearsals. At the buffet line I could not drink coffee or tea, so I would pour myself a cup of milk. When I watched Venus in Furs, I was instantly transported back into the theater of my childhood and the performances that it held.

In the movie, the actress lounges on the sofa and struts her stuff by proving to the director (the male lead) that she deserves the role. Hence, the movie is like watching what happens behind a theater production, than the production itself. On how the actress seduces the director, and how the director falls into her whims and becomes her masochist in his own fantasy reenactment of the script as the actor. On many levels, it is like watching Inception but theater style.

First, you have Polanski who is the real director of the play, casting his wife into the female lead role.

Secondly, you have the young male lead act as the director in the movie itself who is casting a new actress who walked in to be his new lead.

Thirdly, you have the director in the movie audition the script (Venus in Furs) with the female lead, and in this sense, the director enacts his fantasy to be the male lead of the show with the new actress.

If you can’t wrap your mind around what I just wrote, you have to watch the movie as it is so subliminal on many levels that it was a mind boggling. I had to research on the nature of Polanski and his wife relationship (Polanski has a 33 years age gap with his wife) and how they met to get a real feel of what he is trying to communicate in this movie.

index3eIn my conclusion, this movie is a fantasy of the director, Polanski and his wife Emmanuelle Seigner. It is the fruition of their love for theater and movies, and their collaboration on this is a milestone on their marriage. It is a classic by itself as Polanski hits the mark on this movie on the themes of dominance and submission, and how a woman is able to manipulate and control a man’s thoughts by his lust for her. The actress humiliates the director as a “pervert” as the director falls deeper into the trap she has woven, for she wants the role badly and isn’t gonna let the director stop her from becoming the lead actress. I highly recommend this movie and it is still in my thoughts although I watched it in 2014. I still knew I have to write a review about it to release it from my mind (that’s the impact of this movie, it leaves your brain spinning with intellectual stimulation). Go watch it.

My Life Choices 

When I was in college on the humanities track that involved in-depth studies into history, literature, geography and economics, my teachers used to photocopy my essays and pass them around. My history teacher would exchange my essays with my literature teacher, and so on. The teachers had an “internal trade” going on with my writings. They told me to write a book as my ideas were way ahead of my time and maybe, not what a 17 year old would normally write about.

I was the lead actress in our school’s Shakespeare play and had a spot in the highly competitive dance team. However, I took a fond liking of economics and leadership training so much that I dropped out of pursuing an arts education for a hardcore intensive business studies accelerated pathway that involved taking modules every summer.

In view of the change in educational pathway, I gave up a political and government career for an unconventional route that is rarely threaded on – running an IT business that involved automating processes, novel writing and a bdsm themed YouTube Channel.

Fast forward, this blog which I started in 2009 has over 600 articles in a span of 8 years. Instead of having my essays photocopied they are now public and available to view freely online. My intention from the onset is to share my insightful views from my perspective on what I feel about social issues.

I have no regrets taking a back seat in life and instead, using my works to push others forward. I had a recurring dream that I was the Dark Lady behind a masked man sitting in front of a boardroom table. If Carla Bruni wanted “a man with nuclear power”, I want a man with the ability to change the world.

Now, I finally felt unleashed to my fullest potential as my definition and choices in life have materialized to fruition. I will continue to produce quality works till my death, with I hope in turn, will benefit the future generations.

Love and Growth

napoleon1

In my view, the wars of this world are not won by men, but by women. Throughout history, it’s the women behind men that determined the outcome of wars. Without Josephine, Napoleon wouldn’t have conquered the whole of Europe. If he did not divorce Josephine, he would have maintained his empire and prevented the rise of America.

I would gladly take credit for being the women behind several prominent men. I believe without my valuable input, they wouldn’t be where they are today. I believe in the ripple effect of my actions, and that for each word I type, or each dance I do, there is a magnitude of immeasurable after-shocks like an earthquake. However, as my intentions are noble, I believe the aftershocks felt will resonate towards a better tomorrow.

I believe that my words will stand the test of time. All else will disappear. I believe in the pursuit of truth, love and beauty. Since the French Revolution, our world is currently at its current construct of being democratic. The freedom of speech and self-expression is a relatively new novelty. I believe that since the creation of democracy, millions have been liberated from the chains of suppression.

There are nations today that are under dictatorships, but I believe the waves of democracy will liberate them towards the freedom of self-expression. We need more investigative journalists, more writers, more self-expressed people to step up and create the possibilities of change. The recent release of Aung San Suu Kyi in Myanmar is a sign of changing times. That there is no way a nation can remain isolated in the global laissez-faire economy. International pressure will force governments to release dissidents. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights is the movement towards this fundamental choice as being born human.

My soul is awoken by your presence. For this, I will continue my fight openly towards a fully actualized democracy in the place I reside starting from the creation of an alternative BDSM movement. I believe that the suppression of sexuality is the fundamental driver towards acts of self-mutilation and suicide. Without an outlet, individuals are misguided towards self-harm and self-hatred. With this awareness, the actions I will do so today is to make it more visible to the public on where to go and meet individuals like themselves to create support groups that in turn, unlock one’s personal development and potential towards being self-actualised.

This is my way of immortalising my love for you and for others out there who will benefit from our conjoined cause towards their liberation of their sexuality for the benefit of the human consciousness. The movie, Cloud Atlas, suddenly made so much sense to me. History has repeated itself; slavery was abolished, gay marriage is now legal in America; the next frontier is for the BDSM movement to take momentum towards the liberation of this alternative lifestyle to be openly accepted. My YouTube channel is a major breakthrough in opening up this lifestyle to be accepted mainstream, and I will continue my work to do so in this course of action towards creating the awareness and support groups needed for the kink lifestyle to be safe, sane and consensual.

I (heart) FetLife: BDSM & Fetish Community for Kinksters, by kinksters

 

I have created the ripple by writing about this openly, for the aftershocks to take effect, I will be publically speaking about this topic, and gather more like-minded people to make this community effort widespread and accepted. I will implement these ideas this year. Your love had shown me that it’s not just about us, but it’s about the community around us. There are millions of us out there whose voices are still unheard. It’s my cause now, to make us visible and heard.

This is my utmost sincere declaration of love for you.